When I was a little girl, my mom complained on a weekly basis that I wasted more time putting things off than I did getting things done. Putting things off has always been something that I have struggled with. Since starting my business, I have really tried to be better about getting things done in a timely manner. (That is, at least when it comes to the business. Laundry is a different story.) I will admit that there have been times when I end up having to work to complete a piece for an event until 2am the night before, but it hasn’t been often.
Over the years, I’ve come to accept that I’m a natural procrastinator. No matter how much I want to avoid it, its just part of who I am. Whenever there’s something that needs to be done,whether its big or small, important or irrelevant, my instinct is to start later or put it off until tomorrow.
I am not sure what happened to me early 2020. The business procrastination became a huge problem, like never before. I had three big shows that I really wanted to participate in this year, two of which I had done before, the third was a brand new event that had been in the works for 3 years. I had the applications all filled out, everything ready to go, but they sat on my desk and never got sent in and I can’t tell you why.
Then March hit, and things started to slowly unravel. The first event to get cancelled was the Renaissance Celtic Festival, the brand new event. After that, as things like schools and churches went online, concerts were cancelled, and daily life changed completely, it was just a matter of waiting as each event got cancelled or postponed until next year. (We won’t even talk about the weirdness of March and the disappearing toilet paper.)
I remember the day vividly that the Comic Expo event was cancelled. This was an event that was born last year and supposed to take place in August. Comic Expo was the best event I have ever participated in, and the day the event cancelled, I sat and cried, which is the weird part. I never sent in my application form for this event, even though I loved it and wanted to join in again. So why didn’t I send in those applications? Was procrastination finally paying off after all these years, or did things just work out the way they were supposed to?
So the year ended up looking a lot different than I thought it would back in January when I participated in ComicCon, my only event this year. I had no idea what was on the horizon, none of us really did. I remember being thankful that, for whatever reason, I waited to submit any applications for any other events in 2020. The money I saved on all those lost events went toward something different, building my website. The time I would have spent going to events and making jewelry for those events, went instead to finally making a complete inventory and putting every piece in my collection up for the public. This was my silver lining.
My heart hurts for all of the loss that so many have suffered through. Like you, I hope that next year will be better. I am thankful for my many blessings and lessons I have learned in these last months. I do know that even in sorrow and suffering there is always a rainbow in the dark times, it’s just not always easy to see.
I am still learning, like we all are, but I know one thing for sure. I am going to make sure to do my best to listen to the voice in my head and work harder to appreciate and embrace changes no matter the reason.
I hope you have found your rainbow in the darkness. Many blessings to you.
“Procrastination gives you something to look forward to.”
— Joan Konner